You can't answer the question, "Where are you from?"
You think that barrels make good end tables, and think that barrels make good night stands.
011 is a familiar area code.
The vast majority of your clothes are hand-me-downs.
People send you used tea bags in the mail.
You speak two languages, but can't spell either.
You flew before you could walk.
The U.S. is a foreign country.
You embarrass yourself by asking what swear words mean.
You have a passport, but no driver's license.
You watch National Geographic specials and recognize someone.
You have a time zone map next to your telephone.
You don't know how to play Pac-Man.
You consider a city 500 miles away to be "very close."
Your life story uses the phrase "Then we went to..." five times.
You prefer a Land Rover to a Lexus.
You watch nature documentaries, and you think about how good that would be if it were fried.
You can cut grass with a machete, but can't start a lawnmower.
You think in grams, meters, and liters.
You speak with authority on the quality of airline travel.
You go to the U.S., and get sick from a mosquito bite.
You send your family peanut butter and Kool-Aid for Christmas.
You worry about fitting in, and wear a native wrap around the dorm.
National Geographic makes you homesick.
You have strong opinions about how to cook bugs.
You read the international section before the comics.
You live at school, work in the tropics, and go home for vacation.
You don't know where home is.
Strangers say they can remember you when you were "this tall."
You grew up with a maid.
You do your devotions in another language.
You sort your friends by continent.
You keep dreaming of a green Christmas.
"Where are you from?" has more than one reasonable answer.
The nationals say, "Oh, I knew an American once..." and then ask if you know him or her.
You aren't terribly surprised when you do.
You are grateful for the speed and efficiency of the U.S. Postal Service.
You realize that furlough is not a vacation.
You'd rather never say hello than have to say goodbye.
You wince when people mispronounce foreign words.
You've spoken in dozens of churches, but aren't a pastor.
Furlough means that you are stuffed every night... and have to eat it all to seem polite.
You realize that in Australia, the last statement would be very rude.
Your parents decline your cousin's offer to let them use his BMW, and shoehorn all six of you into an old VW Beetle instead.
You stockpile mangoes.
You know what real coffee tastes like.
The majority of your friends never spoke English.
Someone bring up the name of a team, and you get the sport wrong.
